Motherhood

I have soooo much blog posting to catch up on - but right now I am still in the catch up on housework phase;)  So, that will have to wait a bit longer! 
Meanwhile, a friend wrote a blog post that struck me profoundly in many ways.  I hope it is ok - I really wanted to repost it here, on my blog, so that it can reach more people.  http://jenandjasper.blogspot.com/2012/03/motherhood-guilt-but-it-shouldnt.html

I am so eternally grateful for my role as a mother.  I am in no way perfect - but I love and adore each of my children so much! 

Hyperemesis Gravidarum

I am so so so glad this came out today! Sometimes it takes a celebrity getting something for people to understand what you go through is real! 

http://todayhealth.today.com/_news/2012/12/03/15648748-hyperemesis-gravidarum-you-just-feel-like-youre-dying?lite

NO, I am NOT lazy, or crazy, or a wimp or anything else... It is hard!  It stinks!  I am still taking Zofran 3x a day to keep vomiting under control.  I am 14 weeks and hoping it will go away soon - but it might last the entire pregnancy... if so it is fine and we will deal with it one day at a time.
Thank heavens I am doing a little better, I can get around more, cook a little, and laundry and cleaning are no longer a huge deal.  I do get a bit frustrated that my body does this - I would LOOOOOOOVE to be one of those ladies who throws up a few times but can shower, dress, and get on with life as normal.  But I am not.  And no, it is NOT for lack of willpower - if I try to hard to do those things I end up in the hospital.  I am THRILLED to have stayed out this time!!!  It was my stubborn will that kept me out of the hospital this time...
One good thing which I am so grateful for that has come from this (and every other thing I go through) is the fact that my children are SOOO compassionate.  Every one of them has seen me pass out, held buckets for me, rubbed my back or even helped hold my hair while I throw up.  (And all but Elise have seen me spend a lot of time in the hospital from being sick.)  They all see what I go through and know I went through it gladly for them as well.  I pray that watching what I go through means they will have more sympathy for others, even if they don't totally understand what they are going through.  It is hard when you haven't "been there" to understand what other suffer... but even if we don't understand we can always be loving, kind, and non judgmental.  Especially when someone is suffering they need an outpouring of love, help, and hope.  I hope my children will see needs in others and help in any way they can.  I know that is what the Savior would do - and as He is our greatest example, I can only pray my children will try to emulate Him in all they do. 

Blogger is being weird and so I am seeing if it will let me upload this picture....

Dandy

Just want the 3 people that read my blog to know... things are going pretty good.  The kids are helping out so well, friends are wonderful and helpful (couldn't dream of better friends!), I am able to keep up enough on household chores that we are not living like slobs;)  The future is bright and we are thrilled!
Yesterday afternoon and this morning have been a bit better, though this time around I am preparing myself for the plunge back down... but I am loving it and gaining back quite a bit of weight some drinking water and eating food! (lest you think I am bingeing... it is still a challenge, but a lot easier than "normal")  On Tuesday I was down 16 lbs but this morning I am back to only 7.  Yes, it is important for me to track... a lot of that is water weight and when I get too dehydrated I have to head in to the hospital.  It is looking REALLY positive that I won't have to though.  YAY!
Yesterday Emma had 4 teeth pulled.  Luckily they used laughing gas and she was/is doing great.  She stressed about it for weeks and so we are all glad to have this behind us!  Plus, the tooth fairy really came through and gave her $5!!!  Lucky girl! It may have been all the tooth fairy had in his wallet, but it was well deserved!
Russell is going through those 2nd grade blues... He needs extra everything right now - which is fine, and we are sure trying to help him as much as we can.  Through it all though he is as sweet and helpful a young man as any Mom could ask or hope for.  He has a couple of girls in his class at school that he likes and it is just SOOO darn cute to see him blush when he talks about them.
Hannah is doing awesome in preschool.  She is so smart and so cute and so fun.  She is my little angel child and even when she is being super naughty I just feel so overwhelmingly grateful that she is here.  That little one went through a LOT to be here.  I admire her spunk and determination.
Elise is a sweet little snuggle bug who loves that Mommy is sick and reads books and watches movies and snuggles all day!  She hasn't gotten into nearly as much trouble as I thought she would when this all started... she is growing up :/  Bittersweet for sure.  I love my little pixie baby, but I love watching her grow too!
As far as Jonathan and I go, things are great.  I am able to help enough that he doesn't end up with too much on his plate, and he is trying to let go of some of the things that aren't quite as important at the moment.  Compromise rocks and I am so eternally grateful for a husband who helps me be better, and who works with me so that we can together be who WE want to be.  I adore that man.
I am so thankful for a Father in Heaven that felt we were capable of getting through this.  I knew before that I was going to have to really work on the fact that I never ask for or allow help.  I am still not great, but I am trying so hard.  I try to remind myself that if it were my friends I would be more than happy to help, mad if they wouldn't let me in fact.  So.... here we go.  Growing and stretching.  That is what life is all about after all.

Amnesia

Jonathan says I have terrible pregnancy amnesia... the truth is I remember, it's just that it is so worth it.  And while I truly believe the same thing this time around I am so grateful to know this is our last baby.  No, I am not sure that we are done bringing children into our family - but I do know that no more of them will come through me.
This pregnancy has been weird.  It is unlike any other I have had (and lets be honest - I have had a lot).  I started out extremely horrible sick and didn't get anything down liquid or solid for days.  My sweet Jonathan gave me a Priesthood Blessing and since then I have been better.  At least better than that!  I have not been able to sleep for more than 2-3 hours a night in over a month so I am totally exhausted.  I fall asleep fine and then that is it - I cannot go back to sleep when I am awoken for whatever reason.  Grrrrr.  I was able to do the coke and vitamin water/gatorade thing for a few days but since then ice chips have been my lifeline!  Hooray for ice chips!
The weird thing is that a lot of days I am able to get food down and keep it down... NOT in the morning and then I usually get really sick again in evening but there is a stretch every day I am able to try and get food down.  As long as I don't have to smell it or think about it it is ok.  For a few days I was able to go into the kitchen and get water/ ice chips myself - YAY!!!  No more ... there is some crazy smell in the fridge or somewhere that makes me gag like crazy.  Of course right now anyone breathing on or near me makes me throw up!  Only 7 pounds down at this point, ( I gained some back)  that is good!  With Hannah I was already down 30 at this point!  Little miracles!  BUT - I do not have hyperemesis this time, and so hopefully that means this baby will not be coombs positive!  That would be yet another amazing blessing!
I have had horrible stomach pain this pregnancy as well, which is not normal - It makes me double over in pain often - it is so weird. I have had a lot of extra pain all over too since I have not been able to keep up with all my supplements and exercises and good eating.
This is my first pregnancy Paleo... it has not been easy.  There is not a lot to just snack on and I have ended up eating a lot of potatoes and even beans a few times - both of which raise my inflammatory response quite a bit so pain level has been high.... fun! In really good news, my throat is no longer bleeding from all the throwing up!  YAY!!!
Ok, I am going to stop now - I don't want anyone to think I am complaining... I am so so so incredibly grateful to be having this new little one!  I am so happy to go through all of this to get a healthy sweet little baby here.  With every passing day I think often that I need to enjoy and be grateful for every moment that this little one is growing and developing! Also - this is the first pregnancy I have ever had "good days"  I read abou them and that they are common, you will have a day or two of good and then hormones surge again and you will get way worse again.... whatever it is I am so thankful for a couple of days I had of a "break" last week!  What a wonderful blessing and truly a tender mercy from the Lord.  I have felt My Heavenly Fathers love and hand so much in this pregnancy!
I/we will be forever grateful to Jonathans Mom who came up for a couple of weeks to help us.  I know I would have been in the hospital at least once if it weren't for her help.  She took Hannah to preschool (some sweet friends have been bringing her home!), kept laundry moving, played with the kids, and did meals etc...  She would bring me over snacks and made special paleo stuff and it was wonderful.
Jonathans Dad actually came up for a week too, it was so fun to have him here too, though I didn't see him much.  He was excited to get to help Jonathan on projects around the house - really in the addition!  He got so much done and not only is it wonderful - it is also super motivating to get more done!
I am so thankful for Jonathan... this is really rough on him.  He knew it would be a couple of months of really hard stuff, but he was still willing to go through with it to get this last little one here.  He is such a wonderful man and I am so thankful for him.  On one really bad day I just couldn't stop crying and I told him how sorry I was for getting us into this again and that I wasn't sure I could do this again - I just feel so worn out.  He was so sweet and held me close reminding me that we are in this together and we will get through it together.  I am also so thankful for my sweet children - it is hard for them to see Mom go from their whole world and doing everything to not even being able to care for herself.  They have been so sweet and helpful and I am so proud of each of them.  Elise asks me a dozen times each day what she can do for me and Hannah remembers to hug and kiss me and rub my back just about everytime she walks through the room.  It truly is those little things that mean so much.  Russ and Em have taken on more grown up rolls in helping out with meals and laundry and homework.  Great kiddos all around.  We are truly so blessed!  So, all in all life is so good around here!  The baby we have prayed so hard for is on it's way and showing wonderful signs of being strong and healthy, how could we not be thrilled?!?!

Also - a big thank you to my wonderful Chilean missionaries - I know that the heartfelt prayers they have offered up are being answered.  This is my first pregnancy without my Mom... that has been very bittersweet.  I miss her so much, and I so miss my Dads strength and advice.  I am forever grateful for the wonderful examples they are to so many!  It will be different to not have my parents there when they baby comes, but it will be a new experience to Jonathan and I to rely more on friends, church members!  What a learning experience this has been and will continue to be!

Ooops, a few thank yous!

I am such a dork. In trying to get all these posts done and caught up on I neglected to mention how very very thankful we are that Mom and Dad Thom came and stayed with our children for a few days!  It is wonderful knowing your kids are safe and loved while you are away!  We certainly couldn't have gone without you!
Thank you to Katherin and kids for staying a few more days in AZ on your way back to help!  I am sure you were so anxious to get home, and we are so thankful for your sacrifice!
Thank you again to Mom and Dad Goodman for the house and the car for the vacation!  It was so so so nice to have those and we are truly thankful for your kindness and generosity in letting us use them!  Don't worry, we left everything in better shape than we found it - just as we were taught!
We love you all and are so thankful for awesome family that all came together to make a vacation to remember!

Hannah Preschool year 2

For preschool this year, Hannah moved to a friends preschool.  So far she really likes it.  She is totally in love with her backpack.... 

She actually started the day after Emma and Russell but I forgot the camera, and then I was gone for her second day on a little vacation.... so here she is on day 3!  A bit anti- climatic, but hey we got a picture;)  

 With little sister!

 Elise has MAJOR school envy and cannot wait to start preschool next year... *sob* yes, next year....

10 and 15!

So.... Jonathan and I have now been married 10 years!  So crazy and hard for me to believe... but looking at our 9 year old Emma as evidence it is certainly true;)  We have NEVER been on a trip alone together.  We go out on date night.... sometimes.  We do trips to the temple as often as we can... overnight, but other than that we haven't been alone together!  We really wanted to go somewhere crazy to celebrate our 10 year anniversary, as well as the 15 year anniversary of my accident... but time and funds limited as they were we ended up in Snowflake!  

We had a wonderful and relaxing time!  We got to visit my dear Grandma!  I love her so much, she has always been an incredible example to me.  It is really hard to see her like this - as opposed to the strong capable, sharp as a tack woman of my memories.  Regardless, I love her very much!

 We love getting to stay here!  The price is nice and the view is awesome!

 We loved driving all around the white mountains, eating great food, watching a TON of movies, and eating enough fudge for any 12 couples...

 A great little rim hike...

Our super awesome ride for the vacay.  Thanks Dad, for letting us drive your baby!

Broken

I guess Elise was feeling left out on the first day of school or something.... We were watching a friends kids and being the daredevil she is she went up on the top Bunk Bed and said, 1,2,3 JUMP.... 

She came in crying to the living room, and then sat on my lap for hours, I knew then something was wrong.  She wouldn't walk on it and even after icing and elevating all afternoon it was super swollen.  I called Jonathan and asked him to meet me at the urgent care.  The wait was like 4 hours so Jonathan made an appointment for the next day at the Drs office.  I was super stressed out because we had people coming that next day so he said he would take her (which was why I had wanted to do urgent care).  Alas, he didn't so.... the next morning after 4 hours of Dr stuff, not too bad considering that was X-ray time too, here is Elise just before the Dr came in again - 

 And here is Elise getting ready for her cast!

 I should have taken a picture of the X-ray, she broke a bone in her foot.  Now Jonathan feels bad he made her try to walk on it.... poor thing!

 She was WORN out after her big day!  Nothing a Happy meal didn't help.

 You know your 3 year old is in pain when she doesn't move from a spot for hours, unless you move her!

 After a few days of carrying a 30 lb kid around my arm was very sore... keep in mind - I don't have the luxury of switching arms;)

 Hannah was a very sweet helper at the Dr and at home helping with Elise!  She would bring her water, or switch shows, and keep her supplied with fun toys!

First EGG!!!!

We were SO excited!  Dad brought up to the bus stop our chickens very first egg! FUN!  

 Elise wanted a chance to hold it..... OH WELL..........

First day of school 2012/2013 school year!

Ya, I am not one of those super cute Moms that gets professional first day of school pictures!  I figure they should be grateful I remembered to take pictures at all!!!  

Russ is in 2nd grade this year!  CRAZY!  Even crazier, Emma is in 4th.  Where has the time gone?  I want my babies back!  

 Awwww....

 Daddy stayed to wish the kids well!

 Then he made me get in a picture... I had hoped you would think I was wearing a super cute outfit.  Oh well.  Just imagine it.  And imagine I am about 20 lbs skinnier....

 Waiting for that darn bus!  ;)

 This picture makes me laugh - the sun is in their eyes and they look so funny!  I just had to post it!

The Nelsons!!!

My cousin Chantelle is one of my all time favorite people, so we were thrilled to have her and her family come to stay!  Our house is always open to visitors, we love being a stopping point on the way to and from places!  

Elise with Peyton - these two were peas in a pod and really hit it off!

 I love this one of Peyton putting lip gloss on Elise!

 The Nelsons headed to Snowflake to visit Great Grandma, and since it poured rain most of the day the kids and I had a Hot Chocolate party.  Sort of like a tea party, but with hot cocoa, marshmallows, and milk:)

 Even boys get in on this kind of action!

 We had a fun BBQ one night!  This is Hannah and Riley.  Riley starts Kindergarten in a couple of weeks.  She is the one on the left.  Yes, Hannah starts NEXT year.  **sigh**

 Some of the gang for dinner.  It was so great to be together!  Thank you to Derek and Bethi for hosting!

 Peyton is NOT thrilled with Elises lack of sharing skills!

 The morning they had to leave we went on a hike to get all the wiggles out of the girls!  GENIUS idea - how have I never thought of that?  *note to self - we will be doing this from now on!
We did the Cave Hill hike.  Or as people that aren't native to DP call it - old caves crater... :)
Cute Nelson family - Chant is due in a couple of months with their boy!  Awwww!  I might steal him....

 Love this view!  In fact just over Chants shoulder is the house her Dad built that they lived in when Chantelle was a baby!

 Love our little green valley!

 Ready to head back down!

 The cousins!  Aren't they all SOOOOO darling!  That is a lot of girls!  To be fair there ARE boys in the mix.     It is just that mine was at a birthday party and Chantelles is still baking!